Dearest Diary,
My family so so ungrateful! I do everything for them. And do I ever expect ANYTHING in return? NO. I do not! And so you would think that when I ask for unlimited text, my parents would fall heels over elbows to give it to me. That is why I've decided to dedicate this post to my family that I was unfortunately "blessed with" according to Bishop Henry.
Craig - Most people say I should stop calling him that. They say, "it's too disrespectful." Well you know what? If I called you something other than your name it would probably be fatty, so stuff it. Anyways, he is sometimes nice. You know, he got me that fabby spensive shampoo that I always wanted for Christmas. But then he can be a real poopnuts. I mean really. I can't just have the unlimited plan that only costs like 20 bucks more? 20 bucks is like the price of my panties. Gosh. What do I have to do to get some respect in this place? Anyways, over all on a scale of 1-10 I would have to rate him a 3. This is because while he calls me his "little diputs", but one time he said I needed to improve my grades. What the heck! I worked my butt off for that C! C stands for correct. Right?
Judy - Why did I get cursed with a mom so bossy. "Do your homework! Go to bed, it's 12:00! Stop bothering your brother!" I'm pretty sure she just likes to hear herself yell. I don't know why she doesn't understand what I'm going through. The other day, while doing our regular routine, my skirt tore. "Oh well, I'll just sew it up then," she said. WHAT THE HECK! A sewed skirt. I don't live in the jungle, Judy. I'm not a cave man, so why would I wear a sewed skirt. The gall of some people. (Gall is one of my vocabulary words. It means stupid.) Anyways, On a scale of 1-10, I would rate Judy a 2. This is because she is just obnoxious. She always talks back to me.
Stephon - We get along pretty well because we like all the same things. Although this is sometimes a problem because we always get the same things for Christmas. Like that fabby shampoo. He wears some of the best clothes too. One day he wore this adorable turtle neck, with a red scarf that matched. He looked so perfnugs! He also does this great thing with his hair. He like combs it up and then down. He spends FOREVER in the bathroom sometimes trying to get it JUST right. He is also very active. He goes to the gym frequently. And I do have to say, he looks pretty cute in his muscle shirt, and shorts. Anyways, on a scale of 1-10 I would say an 8 because he is just so nice, and always warns me before I go out in public in something that just doesn't work. One time he said, "No. Don't do THAT. The color scheme is TOTALLY off." He so great that way.
Grandmonster - The devil from hell.
Britta - She isn't really in my family, but we are family on Facebook, so it's basically the same thing. She is like my FAVORITEST person in the WHOLE WIDEST WORLD! She is like my twinsie. We came up with this idea that we were born twins, but then she died. When she asked God for one more chance he said, "Ok, but you cannot be in the same family anymore." So we really are twins and its just so perfnuggs. On a scale of 1-10, 10000000000000000000000000000000000. Because she is my BFF.
So yeah. That's all for tonight.
XOXOXO
Aggie.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
10/24 - Three Cheers for ME!
Dearest Diary,
Today I met the most perfnuggets person in the WHOLE WORLD! Me and some other girls from my cheer squad went to Los Angeles for a cheer competison. It was so AMAZEBALLS! We got to the school at 5:30 to take a nasty bus to LA. I wanted to drive my Mustang there, but coach told me that I needed to take the bus. I told him that it was important for me to look good for all the cheer boys, but he said that I needed humility. HUMILITY?! I thought that humility was only for poor people. But even though I had to ride in a giant twinkie, I still had fun with my biffle Britta. We talked about our favoritest people in the whole wide world. They are:
Today I met the most perfnuggets person in the WHOLE WORLD! Me and some other girls from my cheer squad went to Los Angeles for a cheer competison. It was so AMAZEBALLS! We got to the school at 5:30 to take a nasty bus to LA. I wanted to drive my Mustang there, but coach told me that I needed to take the bus. I told him that it was important for me to look good for all the cheer boys, but he said that I needed humility. HUMILITY?! I thought that humility was only for poor people. But even though I had to ride in a giant twinkie, I still had fun with my biffle Britta. We talked about our favoritest people in the whole wide world. They are:
- Taylor Lautner (ADORABLE)
- Chris Hemsworth (SOOOO CUTE!)
- Santa (Because I couldn't sing Santa Baby in my sparkly red booty shorts, and itty bitty santa hat without him. Other wise he is just UGGBOOTS. Although I give props to Mrs. Clause for staying with him so long. I would have sent him away a long time ago. She probably only does it because he has midget slaves)
- Blake Lively (Because she is so GORGEOUS! I am so jealous of her perm!)
When we got to the cheer competition there was this one girl who thought that she was better than everybody else. And you'll never guess what I heard her say! "Obv." Yeah. THAT'S MY WORD! She can't steal my word! I invented it! (Well actually I stole it from Britta, but whatevs). Ohhh I just could rip her weave out! Anyways, I heard that Rachel was in LA too, going to some sort of singing thing. As if singing got people anywhere. It doesn't matter though, because cheer looks way better than any stupid choir thing.
So we did our routine, which was by far the best, but there was this one guy in another cheer squad who fell in love with me at first sight. We made eye contact during one of his routines. Then he did this super awesome special flip that I knew he did just for me. We are meant for each other! He is just about the Hottest guy I've EVER seen. We would def make it into the year book as the cutest couple. My hair matches his eyes perfnuggs!
After the competition there was a dance for all the squads. I saw him there too. He was just hanging around a bunch of guys at the punch bowl. I decided to hunt down the prey. So I got out my itsy bitsy mirror, put on some blush, fluffed my hair and pranced over to him. "Didn't I see you doing that flip in the routine?" I asked him.
"I don't know. Did you?" He said.
"I did if you want me too..."
"I don't want you too."
What the heck! I practically handed him an opportunity, but NOOOOO. What is it with boys?! They think they're so much better than everyone else. (Here is the thing though. Zach would FREAK if he knew I was flirting. So don't tell anybody.)
After the dance we all got on the buses. The bus driver told me to sit in the back this time. All I could think about on then way home was that boy who did the flip. His bulging muscles... his adorable nose... his perfect use of eyeliner to highlight his eyes.... come to think of it he had the best highlights. I want a man with highlights. Zach doesn't have highlights. Stephon does though...
Anyways when I got home mom got mad at me for not calling when I got there. I told her that she should call when she gets there. She sent me to my room. Later that night she came in and told me that Grandmonster might be coming to live with us. Pooh.
Anyways, I'm really tired so this is it.
GOODNIGHT!
-Aggie
So we did our routine, which was by far the best, but there was this one guy in another cheer squad who fell in love with me at first sight. We made eye contact during one of his routines. Then he did this super awesome special flip that I knew he did just for me. We are meant for each other! He is just about the Hottest guy I've EVER seen. We would def make it into the year book as the cutest couple. My hair matches his eyes perfnuggs!
After the competition there was a dance for all the squads. I saw him there too. He was just hanging around a bunch of guys at the punch bowl. I decided to hunt down the prey. So I got out my itsy bitsy mirror, put on some blush, fluffed my hair and pranced over to him. "Didn't I see you doing that flip in the routine?" I asked him.
"I don't know. Did you?" He said.
"I did if you want me too..."
"I don't want you too."
What the heck! I practically handed him an opportunity, but NOOOOO. What is it with boys?! They think they're so much better than everyone else. (Here is the thing though. Zach would FREAK if he knew I was flirting. So don't tell anybody.)
After the dance we all got on the buses. The bus driver told me to sit in the back this time. All I could think about on then way home was that boy who did the flip. His bulging muscles... his adorable nose... his perfect use of eyeliner to highlight his eyes.... come to think of it he had the best highlights. I want a man with highlights. Zach doesn't have highlights. Stephon does though...
Anyways when I got home mom got mad at me for not calling when I got there. I told her that she should call when she gets there. She sent me to my room. Later that night she came in and told me that Grandmonster might be coming to live with us. Pooh.
Anyways, I'm really tired so this is it.
GOODNIGHT!
-Aggie
Monday, October 3, 2011
10/3
Dearest Diary,
Does my mom hate me? Today she invited Grandmonster over for dinner. "Mom. Grandmonster can hardly get up out of a chair. How is she supposed to get here?" I asked. She just did the mom look. Well, as it turns out, Dad picked up Grandmonster on his way home from work. Dinner was awful, because Grandmonster had to take pills. She told once told me that one of her pills helps her trembling hands, and I asked her how she was even going to pick up the pill with her trembling hands. I went home early from Grandmonster's that day. Anyways, other than dinner, my day was totally AMAZEBALLS! I went to the mall with Britta, my BFF and Stephon, who tagged along, because mom said he needed new shoes or something. We went to Bath and Body Works, where Stephon spent a REALLY long time picking out a lotion that he thought would be good "for his friend". Then we went to Target where we tried on a bunch of clothes (mom won't pay for clothes from Forever 21. I know, my life sucks) all of which were about as attractive as Mrs. Perry. Finally I picked out this Fabby looking button up shirt, and some HOT flats from payless. When we were driving home I saw a sign that said, "What are you doing for your country?" It had a picture of a really cute soldier. That made me really think. I have now decided that I'm going to marry a soldier, because they look SOOOO hot in their uniforms.
Anyways, my goals for this year are these:
1. Get a swimsuit tan.
2. Loose 30 pounds (120 just won't do)
3. Go out with Zach
4. Kiss Zach
5. Make Cheer
6. Get a car
7. Marry a soldier.
That's all for tonight!
Love,
Aggie (Agatha)
P.S. Mom says that I might have a little sister. What is that supposed to mean?!
Does my mom hate me? Today she invited Grandmonster over for dinner. "Mom. Grandmonster can hardly get up out of a chair. How is she supposed to get here?" I asked. She just did the mom look. Well, as it turns out, Dad picked up Grandmonster on his way home from work. Dinner was awful, because Grandmonster had to take pills. She told once told me that one of her pills helps her trembling hands, and I asked her how she was even going to pick up the pill with her trembling hands. I went home early from Grandmonster's that day. Anyways, other than dinner, my day was totally AMAZEBALLS! I went to the mall with Britta, my BFF and Stephon, who tagged along, because mom said he needed new shoes or something. We went to Bath and Body Works, where Stephon spent a REALLY long time picking out a lotion that he thought would be good "for his friend". Then we went to Target where we tried on a bunch of clothes (mom won't pay for clothes from Forever 21. I know, my life sucks) all of which were about as attractive as Mrs. Perry. Finally I picked out this Fabby looking button up shirt, and some HOT flats from payless. When we were driving home I saw a sign that said, "What are you doing for your country?" It had a picture of a really cute soldier. That made me really think. I have now decided that I'm going to marry a soldier, because they look SOOOO hot in their uniforms.
Anyways, my goals for this year are these:
1. Get a swimsuit tan.
2. Loose 30 pounds (120 just won't do)
3. Go out with Zach
4. Kiss Zach
5. Make Cheer
6. Get a car
7. Marry a soldier.
That's all for tonight!
Love,
Aggie (Agatha)
P.S. Mom says that I might have a little sister. What is that supposed to mean?!
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